19.7.12



everything in life is a choice





top & skirt c/o romwe

I've been reading a self-help type book lately that is like a mini-program to help deal with fears, anxieties and stress. Part of it talks about stresses of daily life and how to cope with things. First of all, I don't consider myself a stressed out person, and I feel like the only times I really do get stressed out is when I have WAY too much to do and just can't handle it all. I know that pretty much sounds like my everyday life, but I promise I don't really get stressed out about doing too much... Maybe all of these years of doing a lot of things has just made me adapt to stressful situations?

Anyways, one part of this chapter that really stood out to me was about how so many people use the type of thought process that makes them think they HAVE to do things, or SHOULD do things. For example, you're driving to work and realize you might be late. You immediately think "I HAVE to be on time! I cannot be late today!"  I'm sure we've all thought something along those lines before. The idea they suggest though is that you change the HAVE TO's and SHOULD's with choices. So instead, think "I would like to be on time today. If I am late, I'll just explain the traffic situation to my boss." Or, "I would prefer it if I were on time today." Just thinking like this (even reading that sentence) instantly calms you, doesn't it? 

Everything we do in life is a choice. You don't have to do anything. If you start thinking in terms of making choices, things start to become clearer and less stressful. Just a little something I've been trying lately and thought I would share! How do you deal with stressful situations?

33 comments:

  1. Thanks, Dana. I posted something on my blog a couple of days ago about me being stressed and this will hopefully change how I see things. I think my stress is from other outside influences that haven't affected me before in my life though. That way of thinking, is actually pretty calming like you said. That was how I used to think but I guess I forgot that. I love the outfit btw. I had never heard of that site and I might buy a shorter skirt that I found right now, that I have been searching for a while now. :) Hope you're having a lovely day and good luck with the emails! <3

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  2. That is amazing. I really need to starting using those words. I consider myself a stress bucket. Little things that throw off my day drive me insane and generally lead to frustrated tears. But I've learned to laugh. Laughing is sooo important to get through the day. And I've got a husband that's good at teaching me when it's okay to laugh (which is most if not all of the time). So between laughter and your advice I could definitely manage my stress better.

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    1. I agree that laughing is so important too! I remember growing up my mom always had this very "it's not that bad" attitude which would put me in check whenever I started freaking out about something. She's always been a calm woman who I literally cannot remember ever being mad at anything when I was growing up. So i think that helps to have someone putting you in check once in a while ;)

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  3. Thanks for sharing this! its so true - my mom used to teach me growing up that happiness was a choice - we were responsible for choosing how we reacted to things and we could choose whether to be upset or stressed or simply happy - because regardless what is going on, there is always something bigger to be happy about :)

    love,
    elisabeth

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    1. agreed!!! My comment above applies to this too I think haha.

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  4. You are right...those choice words make one feel instantly calm. I love learning about stuff like that. It's the little things that we do to make life work or not! What great advice. Thanks for sharing!

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  5. It's so easy to get caught up in the have have have cycle, and it's even easier, when you think about it, to change that. I find myself guilty of HAVING to do everything, which leaves me stressed, anxious and unhappy most times. What book are you reading? I am interested in checking it out :)

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    1. It is this one. It's mostly a panic/anxiety workbook as opposed to anything else.

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  6. beautiful photographs! i love the hazy appeal and the feel of these pictures. so lovely and ethernal.

    thefoxfrugal.typepad.com

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  7. I too have been doing a lot of reading, I also thought this was an interesting point and I'm trying to switch my thinking to reflect more of that type of mood. If you say I should or I have to, and you don't you can push yourself into a bad mood of regretting something you really didn't HAVE or NEED to do. Also, I really think taking a moment (or maybe even a few) through out the day just to close your eyes and sort of re-center yourself is so healthy.

    xo Kayla

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  8. I'm getting my master degree in counseling, so thanks for this post. "Reshaping" someone's thinking could definitely help my clients someday!

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  9. This is very helpful, this book sounds good, I'd love for you to share some more tips! x

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  10. This is a great way of thinking. I'm getting better at learning that I don't HAVE to do anything. It is such a challenge though!

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  11. Do you mind sharing the title of the book? Would love to pick up a copy.

    I especially like your example of being late to work and just explaining to your boss what happened. In my particular situation, my boss is part of the reason I stress so much. Reason number 72 why I need to get the eff out there already. ;]

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  12. I consider myself lucky to have learned this as a child. I'll never forget hearing my 5th grade teacher tell us, "No one can MAKE you do anything. If you did something wrong or even something right, it was your choice." All these years later, her words replay in my head almost every day.

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  13. And okay... you inspired a post.

    http://www.erincomposes.com/2012/07/choices-are-choices-are-choices.html

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  14. That outfit is gorgeous. And so simple! Also, this post rocks my socks off.

    xo,
    Jessica @ Diary of a Beautiful Soul

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  15. Huh, that is definitely an interesting way to think of things to de-stress. I've been dealing with the issues of anxiety and stress for a while and the book your reading sounds super helpful. Thanks for the review!

    PS that outfit is super adorable, I'm in love with that skirt!

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  16. perfect photos :D and I love your skirt :)

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  17. gosh we are alot alike. my therapist has me replace my shoulds with "i'd like to", "it'd be nice to" as you mentioned, and boy it SURE HELPS. it really isn't ever the end of the world. like ever.
    unless it had to do with harm befalling the kiddos.
    everything always turns out...
    i probably have the heart of an 80 year old with all the palpitations i've had.

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  18. I know when I'm stressed it really helps to pray! God has so much love for us-- "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. "

    I Peter 5:6-7

    Love your photos by the way! The light is so ethereal!

    tobebeautifulingodseyes.blogspot.com

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  19. A very interesting thought. Thanks for sharing it!

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  20. So true - I am guilty of telling myself 'I HAVE to get to that meeting on time, no matter what'. This is a really bad habit. I will try to change the way I think next this happens xx

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  21. Thank you so much for posting this! I am currently in the middle of a week of final exams in college and this idea is definitely going to come in handy <3

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  22. I am stressed out ALLL THE TIME. For no good reason. I'm not a negative person, but I feel weighed down all the time. But my boyfriend helps a lot. Gets me out of the house and what not....I was kind of becoming a basket case!
    http://hesmellslikelilies.blogspot.ca/

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  23. Great idea :) xxx

    http://jeminixlife.blogspot.com

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  24. Wonderful look! nice pics!
    Xoxo.
    neyshastyle.blogspot.com

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  25. I needed this post today... I woke up at the exact time I should have been sitting at my desk. PS I get so many compliments about your blog design...... thanks so much!

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  26. I think that a great deal of stressful things in life come down to how we perceive them. It's something I've been trying to work on a lot lately too. I try to deal with stressful situations by envisaging an end to them, like telling myself that this is only temporary and I will overcome it and be able to look back at it and learn. That seems to help.

    Also, learning to deal with things not being perfect, that probably causes most of my stress!

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  27. what a good perspective about how we should look at things. to help bring the stress level down. i will definitely be trying this next time i'm running late somewhere!
    xo TJ

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  28. This is great advice, and a good way to look at things (and even life in general). I don't deal with stressful situations very well, so hopefully something like this could help!
    - Rhiannon
    laviedelamourx.blogspot.com

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