got a date dress: c/o chicwish
cardi/leggings: f21
I have to say that I was surprised at how many of you felt the same way as me about this post. I truly loved reading through all of your comments and even gaining some new perspectives on some things.
I did realize that even I am guilty of stopping by blogs often and not commenting or leaving my mark, and I honestly didn't even really think about it until now. I am glad that the majority of you actually instilled some confidence back into me by letting me know that you do indeed read every single post, regardless of if you say anything or not, so thank you.
The whole topic was pretty interesting I think. It got me thinking about how our world is now actually. With sites like Facebook and Twitter, etc. we're so used to just having conversations in 140 characters or less. I get it, I really do... I just started to wonder if maybe this has also affected how we communicate with people on a daily basis? People want short and sweet everything. Ok, that's probably a totally different topic now, haha, but just something else to think about. What do you think?
I think that when I started wondering about interaction and commenting, I was really playing out worst case scenarios in my head... thinking "oh maybe nobody likes the posts I spend the most time on!". I also understand how when you blog, you should blog for YOU and that should come first. However, I also think that when you want to make your blog an actual source of income (because, let's face it, this is like a part time job for me almost) you do have to appeal to a wider audience. Finding a balance in between the two is hard sometimes, especially when you have sponsors and people counting on you for certain things.
I got a few comments and emails about one thing in particular I want to touch on. I didn't realize that some of you considered my blog more "businessy" than anything. I both like this and hate this at the same time. 1. I like being able to share knowledge about things I know about and maybe even be a source of inspiration... but 2. The whole reason I started blogging regularly was to be more personal so that my life wasn't all business. I guess I'm a little confused because I rarely post about business stuff, but it is interesting to see that I am still considered very business minded by some of you... Which I agree, I am, but I'm just not sure how that shows in my posts? Hmm...
Something you probably don't know that kind of started my whole "More time = less comments" issue... Dustin was a totally active blogger when I met him. He wrote hilarious stories about ridiculous stuff that happened in the world and whatnot. In fact, when we first started talking online, he would send me links to all of his new posts. I honestly thought it was a little annoying but I read them anyways haha. His stats were sooo good and people were actually reading all of his writings. Thousands a day. One problem though, he rarely ever got any feedback. I saw how much that affected what he did (he pretty much stopped blogging, which is a shame because he loved it) and I was honestly scared that I might not want to continue doing this either if I lose all inspiration. It just made me sad. He would spend countless hours putting posts together. He is a perfectionist when it comes to writing (and actually really awesome at it!) and even after we met and he moved in with me he would sit there for HOURS typing away/editing and I could never understand why it took him so long!
So anyways, I've seen what the lack of encouragement and inspiration can do to someone first hand, and I wouldn't want anyone to have to go down that path, thinking that they are not good enough or something... Especially when in reality people do love what you do. I'm going to just keep on doing my thing and posting what I want to post (whether it takes a long time or not) and try not to care so much about comparing myself to others... Because nobody gets anywhere in life when they think they're only second best ;)
You guys are the bestest! (p.s. happy friday the 13th!)
The science behind blogging + reader involvement is an interesting one. I absolutely would not determine how 'good' my blog was based on the amount of comments (especially when analytics will show thousands of visitors a day!). I'm glad you were able to come to a positive resolution about your feelings since the last post!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're feeling a little better about the whole thing. I think the business thing comes through just because it's evident how much effort you put into your blog, which to me always makes things look more professional than say, a blogger that just posts stories about what they did that day. I definitely wouldn't say it's a bad thing though so you shouldn't take it as a negative point x
ReplyDeleteOh, another point that made me think of you as more business-y is because alot of your posts have the sponsored by LA by Diana Live Magazine image at the bottom, and as I work in advertising I always associate sponsored posts with work!
Deletehaha, i hadn't thought of that... that ad is just an ad spot that anybody can purchase on my sponsor page to help promote themselves ;) maybe i should change the "this post sponsored by" wording...
DeleteSo true. Getting comments gives me validation. EVen though I can look at my stats and see that people stopped by my blog for X number of minutes, I still enjoy the comments. I think it's human nature to want people to say :good job!" or "I agree!" and its discouraging when that doesn't happen. I make a point to comment on blogs when I have something to say ~ even if it's just a simple "love your dress in that photo!" or whatever. However, if I don't have anything to say, I don't want to be disingenuous.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean.,.I spend hours on a post and get 10 views and no comments...its hard ;(
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work, Dana. Seriously, your style is amazing and you inspire more people than you realize. And try talking Dustin into writing again... now I'm super curious to read his funny stories.
ReplyDeleteBlog because you want to, and because it makes you happy! But posts like this, and the last one make people want to share their opinions more than talking about a weekend movie date or something like that! I am trying to be better about leaving comments, but I want to make sure I'm not just rambling or commenting just to comment!
ReplyDeletexo Kayla
Charlotte is right, although I do come here for some inspiration because you're so lovely and creative, I can see how someone could get that idea from the sponsored posts. Hehe. Kind of changes your perspective of the whole post once you get to the bottom. I had a feeling you would do a post replying to that blog post. It also made me think of what people are interested in my own blog, so I can get their attention. But I see, in your situation, why you feel the way you do. It's hard to see someone so close lose their hope on something they care about. You should tell D to share his stories again. I'm sure a lot of people that love your blog/stores/etc would be very helpful when it comes to feedback. Another thing about comments, I'm the type of person that says "I will go on a commenting spree today.. no excuses" and never do it. I feel like with so many blogs that we follow it's hard to leave comments on everyone's blogs. I never end up doing it because like I said in the last post about this, I like to leave comments like this that I feel like I can say what's on my mind. Anyways, don't be afraid to write about whatever you want. We will always be happy to provide feedback. I will make it a daily thing to comment on your blog from now on.
ReplyDeleteBtw nice braid. Why would you ever consider a haircut if you got those new extensions? Lol Silly <3
Hope you have a beautiful day and I hope you find your inspiration today!
I just changed the text above the sponsor ad... maybe that will help? I don't know lol. I didn't realize that maybe people were thinking that each post I write is like... paid for by someone or something. It's really just an ad spot like in my sidebar but has much greater visibility :)
DeleteD still has his website up, and does the occasional post, but I accidentally deleted all his photos from his past posts from years ago (oops!). If you want to check it out, his site is sidecarsally.com... but be warned, he's got a sick sense of humor ;)
Thanks about the braid!!! I am going to post about these extensions soon, I just love them! I've never worn extensions before but these are my new fav things ever. Makes for such a thicker, more manageable 'do! haha.
xo
1) That is the cutest dress *ever*
ReplyDelete2) I know how it feels not to ever get any comments and think that for sure no one ever reads my blog....:P
3) loved this post! You have so many great points about blogging/bloggers that I really needed. :) <3
xx
I was really glad that I got to read the post you wrote yesterday. Even right now, I'm going through a really tough time with receiving no feedback and having it affect my creativity. I think sometimes taking a different, fresh approach can help. I will definitely now be more conscious in leaving feedback with the blogs I read, because people DO need feedback! It's one of those things you rarely think about until it smacks you in the face...
ReplyDeletePS. Love the dress!
like you and other commenters said, most of us follow so many blogs and just don't have or take the time to write a comment. I personally read some post through my feedly on my iphone whenever i have a couple spare minutes and it is a bit of a hassle to comment over the iphone. i often think that i will return to blogs later when i am on my mac but more often than not just forget about it. lately i am trying to mark these posts i have something to comment about as unread so i won't forget. [this is me, trying to be a better commenter]
ReplyDeletetwitter, instagram and facebook are a bit easier to interact quickly specialy on smartphones. so much easier to just hit like or type a short comment/answer over there. maybe that's why everyone gets a bit more interaction on these plattforms. it's quick and easy, that's what people have time for.
oh and about what you said about your blog might be too businessy. i actually never thought it is. of course you are promoting your shop here but i wouldn't talk about too businessy here. you write about so many other things here that are very inspirational by the way. too businessy for me is if bloggers only writes about their products, do diy posts only with their products, write about/review products they get for free... i actually stopped following a couple blogs as they turned into a daily sales newsletter over the time. but i think this is even worse with youtubers. they start off with great tutorials or funny vlogs and suddenly turn into PR puppets only promoting certain products they get for free.
anyway, i am happy you found some encouragement in all the comments on that last post. the most important part after all is that you enjoy what you are doing.
these are such artistic pictures:) I love them!!!
ReplyDeleteMolly and MacKenzie
www.ruffledromance.blogspot.com
I just started reading your blog but I will concur with what a lot of people say...I tend to not comment unless I think I have something interesting (at least to me) to add to the conversation besides just "I like this". I value quality over quantity but would rather say nothing than share a boring soundbite response. As far as people thinking your blog is "businessy", I think "businessy" is not quite the right word...it's stylized. It has a really distinct, cohesive style that appears quite professional, but I think the content beyond the appearance still seems quite grounded in the personal. I sometimes enjoy periods when it seems no one is reading/commenting on my blog, it helps me take my guard down and write more personal, meaningful posts, which is why I started it in the first place. Of course, I can tolerate that for only so long before I too start wondering..."sob...why doesn't anybody like me????"
ReplyDeleteSuch a lovely dress on you! Good luck with the blogging struggles. I have phases where I have different feelings about mine, too, but just remember: this, too, shall pass. Best wishes!
ReplyDeletei enjoyed reading through everyone's comments on the other post, dana! i learned something from everyone who shared their own points of view! and im so glad that you gained courage from everyone's kind words.
ReplyDeletei feel bad that dustin quit blogging because he was receiving no feedback on his posts. i nearly quit blogging a few months ago because that was the case. but everytime i see someone hit that follow button, i thought maybe i should keep doing this because someone appreciates what i do. and i think that was my motivation to keep going.
of course it would be different if your blog is also a source of income for you. i think if i would make my blog a part-time job the pressure would be much different. but i guess the most important thing above all else is that you should enjoy blogging... the process of reflecting on that post you'll write about, editing your dreamy photos, etc. it's hard not to put expectations but too much expectations can in turn make us unhappy.
again, would like to tell you how awesome and truly inspiring your blog is! so keep on keeping on, dana! soo many of us love you! <3 <3 <3 :-)
I agree with what some others have said, most times I feel like my input is only reiterating what others have already said so I am not adding anything new so I don't comment. But I always read and appreciate :)
ReplyDeleteAnd FYI: that outfit is ADORABLE!
So anyways, I've seen what the lack of encouragement and inspiration can do to someone first hand, and I wouldn't want anyone to have to go down that path, thinking that they are not good enough or something... Especially when in reality people do love what you do.
ReplyDeleteDana--I really relate to your above thoughts as I cut/pasted into this comment. I constantly think my blog is not good enough because of the lack of comments and GFCs, because I DO EVENTUALLY want to make income off of my blog. And I'll say it again--I've been blogging 4.5 years and am in debt from it (blog design)..have made $0 money off of it. Not having a pity party for myself, just so confused as to WHY i put so much into my blog and it's just not where I need it to be numbers-wise to make some money. I feel like i'm on the cusp, so I just keep going. Help?
Mindy, have you checked out my blogging eBook? I cover a lot of stuff in there about how to grow. Not that I'm trying to give you a sales pitch or anything. In fact, email me and I'll send you access to it :)
DeleteIt's interesting that the conversation of relationships between bloggers and their readers has come up. I read Cup of Jo's blog the other day, she wrote a post called "What sex feels like to guys" and after reading the comments, it turns out she recycled something she wrote from three years ago and a lot of her readers seem to be pretty upset about it and bring up a lot of valid points. (Of course, some people are just blatantly being rude, but some people do have interesting things to say)
ReplyDeleteThought maybe you'd want to check it out.
Hi!
ReplyDeleteI want you to know that I like your writings and your blog so much! I don't have the time to respons to your writings and to be honest, most of the time I am afraid to answer... It sounds really silly, I know. But my english is pretty bad, it takes me a couple minutes to write a proper sentence (google translater or any other on the net aren't very reliable)and most bloggers are for me some idols...wich makes me little stressed out to react.
So I just wanted you to know that I really like your blogs, I adore them! So when you don't have reactions, doesn't mean there are people who don't care about and take you for granted.
Consider it as a letter or a blogpost just for you and we are the lucky ones to read it.
This space on the web is for you!
I hope you understand my rambling and don't take it as critics or as a bad thing! I really like you and your blog!
With love from Brussels, Belgium :)
Adelien
I love that so many people stepped up just to show you that although they aren't actively commenting, they are indeed here for you!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you feel better about it all. And I just have to say. That dress is BEAUTIFUL. Lucky girl ... lucky boyfriend. :)
ReplyDeleteI am glad you feel better about things now I think we ALL have that feeling at one time. I know I actually stopped blogging for 6 months last year and I just happened to feel about it again. When I found your blog I loved all your tips and DIYs unlike some blogs that are large I think the DIYS they have are kinda cheap like who would actually use that stuff to where I like yours.
ReplyDeleteI think what made some people feel your blog was business like was bc you promote your design, ebooks, the ads and sponsored post and all that but hey like you said this is also your part time job and its your blog do what works for you.
Whoa-- two comments in one week. Is this me?
ReplyDeleteAnyway... referring to the businessy stuff. Maybe it's the awesome blog and other tutorials? I actually see mostly personal stuff in your blog. Maybe since this blog does have some things about your design work? I know that before I began reading your material, I used this as the place to reference your work and contact you... but I really like that it's all in one place.
What you do is awesome. Please don't stop :)
i really appreciated your final comment about comparing and how no one likes to feel second best. when i first started blogging i just had so much fun reading other peoples blogs and i remember thinking what fun if i actually had a life to blog all of these incredible things like other people. and then when i started going up followers i felt like i had to be just as good as all of those people. comparison is our worst enemy. i hope you continue to love blogging and not lose inspiration :)
ReplyDeletexo TJ
i don't think you're bussinessy but everyone has their own opinions. i get worried about losing inspo too. a comment literally makes me want to post more. the more comments i get the more excited i am to post.
ReplyDeletehttp://romanticallychallenged.net
Don't stop doing what you do if you like it, because yes, blogging is all about doing "you" which is where I think some of the fear comes in. Because we post what we want, about us, what we like and when people don't comment, you kinda think "well is that a direct reflection on me as a person and if no one likes it, then what good is it to me to continue when I don't get any validation?"
ReplyDeleteHell, I'm happy if someone writes "nice photos" as a comment or something equally as generic because it means someone for sure that I know of was here and at least looked at the pictures. I think maybe we have to give a little when it comes to commenting to get something back. Let's face it, all the people who have commented on my blog, I have gone back and done the same to theirs, and in the beginning of many blogs, that's what people did (I know now with people who have many followers and soo many comments they don't have time) but still. Give a little get a little.
I also follow you on twitter, and I guess I can kinda see where people are saying your too much about the business side of it. I do find a lot of your tweets about sponsors or things of that nature, and I think the human connection is missing a little. We come here to read about YOU first, and then (by the awesome power of marketing) we visit sponsors and stuff. I think maybe people are missing some of the love and what they can identify with, which is YOU.
I hope that made sense. I don't mean any disrespect by it at all. Truly, you are one of my inspirations girly, don't lose your passion!
Can i be honest? i pretty much really dislike twitter lol. What gets posted there is usually what I post to my facebook page as it copies over. So i can see how i don't interact much on there. Facebook/twitter is really the only way i can post to let people know that i have something going on or a new post up... so i can't really stop that but i guess i could be a little more personal about it.
Deletexox
ohh I totally hear you! I don't get all that many stats in the first place, and when I do I wonder why people aren't commenting because I worry it is a bad reflection on me. It is hard to continually put yourself out there when you are always faced with silence because we are all just seeking a bit of human connection/interaction. I try not to look at my stats anymore (mostly because there aren't really any haha!) because it was making it worse and I also started wondering if there was even any point, but I just keep remembering that blogging is for me, and I do it for me. It's a bit harder for you if you are building it into a business though, so kudos to you girl! I love coming to others blogs and seeing a slice of their lives, so don't let silence dishearten you :)
ReplyDeleteI also try to remember that the more I do it for me, the more honesty will come through (because I won't be worried about what I write) and then maybe the more I will connect with people and the more they will want to comment :)
Firstly, that is an amazing, amazing dress!!!
ReplyDeleteSecondly, I can relate so much to this! I get a lot more regular views than I have followers and comments, and I'll freak out because I wonder if they don't like what I'm publishing. You'd think the fact that there is (slow but) steady growth of the views would be enough to reassure me, but I think that feeling really just is about wanting interaction and the fear of our own work and thoughts being disliked. We want more tangible evidence that people enjoy what we post, or find it interesting or whatever else. It's odd really, but I kind of get it.
I think one of the reasons behind it, asides from time and energy, might be that modern technologies have had a huge impact on how we interact - we have the opportunity to read about the thoughts and activities of thousands upon thousands of people, and view their photos in a fairly personal sense, from all over the world at the click of a button. I've often though that for a lot of the unknown 'stats' behind our blogs, the lack of leaving their own mark is those people feeling that opening themselves up to that new medium of interaction is a bit daunting, and that their own personal thoughts on that blog or post might go unnoticed and ignored as well.
But then there's also the idea that we can go wherever and do whatever on the internet without people knowing and feeling like it won't have any impact - like people clicking attending on a Facebook event and never rocking up! :P
I also like what Pamela said about give a little get a little, but then I have that luxury of having the time to get to know people who follow my blog because it's so small.
Wonderful thought-provoking post, Dana! I've only just discovered your blog now, but having read through a few past posts I really like it so far! Rhi :) xx
The Wildest of Dreams
Gauging success based on comments is a very common mistake that bloggers make. It's too bad, because comments are the most visible and *personal* method of feedback, but the truth is, it's also the most difficult for the reader.
ReplyDeleteFor many readers - especially avid blog readers, - it takes an actual switch is technology or viewing method to even get to the comment box, generally followed by signing into an account. Then they need to formulate an actual comment. Take it from a blogger and forum user - a good comment can take almost as much time as writing a blog post! Regardless of how blog authors feel, most readers hate leaving comments that are little more than "great post!" because it feels like insincere spam... it *is* a common spamming tactic for increasing backlinks, after all. As a reader who loves reading comments on interesting posts, I actually dislike when good posts have hundreds of "nice post!" comments, because it's difficult for me to find the thoughtful and interesting comments in the sea of fluff.
Lastly, it's pretty common for people to only feel that it's appropriate to comment on a post when the post is *fresh.* I know I almost never comment on posts that are more than a few weeks old, because it feels like I've just missed my chance. (The only exceptions is if the post still has an active comment thread, but that's pretty rare.) So really, the only folks you'll hear feedback from are the ones who were already following your blog, and a handful of new readers. Posts that have high search engine karma, like tutorials, won't get many comments, even if they are fantastically popular in the future.
The estimate is that for an average blog, one comment equals a hundred viewers (presumably, one hundred viewers who read the totality of the post.) Commenters represent a tiny fraction of a blog's community. Commenting is a hugely time-consuming action on the aprt of the reader, and few readers have the time or patience to comment on every post they read on every blog they follow! It doesn't mean that people aren't reading or appreciating your content, it just means that commenting is an especially demanding form of feedback, compared to other methods like social media sharing.
I just happened upon your blog, and it is beautiful! I love the photography, and the romantic, vintage feel. By the way, how do you get the hazy, vintage feel on all of your photos? Is it an action or texture?
ReplyDeleteCheck out my custom photoshop actions here http://envye.com/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=9 :)
ReplyDelete