Rejecting negativity.By Dana Fox
The other day I mentioned that one of my goals for this year was to reject negativity from my life. This is something I’ve come to realize needs to be done, and is something that I’m going to focus on greatly. You might think that negative things happen, and there is no way you can just ignore what goes on in the world… but the actuality of it is you can. It all starts with realizing that everything you perceive…. and I mean everything…. seems the way it is because you believe it to be that way.
Okay, that sounded really confusing. Let me try to explain better. I’ll use you as an example. You are the way you are because of your beliefs. You were raised with those beliefs and didn’t question anything because as children, we really have no desire or knowledge to question the way we learned about the world. You think the way you do because of how you were raised. As you grow up, your opinions and outlook on life can change, but the whole core of your existence is still tied to those initial beliefs… deep down. The truth is, we’ve always had the choice to change our beliefs, but we just never knew about it at the time… when we were young and learned our key beliefs about life.
You are who you are because that is who you believe you are. It’s who you’ve decided you are. Read that again until it makes sense. You perceive yourself and the entire world differently than every other person on this planet. Why? Because everybody has their very own beliefs and perceptions about life. YOU as the person you think you are does not even exist in objective reality, but only in your mind. When I realized this recently, I had a real “woah” moment. Everything became a little clearer and this totally made sense to me. It made sense to me because I could think of an exact example of becoming what I believed I was.
If you’ve been around this place for a little while, you might know about the anxiety issues I’ve been dealing with. At that moment, when I had my “woah” realization, I remembered the point in my life where things took a turn for the worst. It was shortly after I finally decided to tell friends and family about my panic issues. At the time, I thought I was doing myself and everybody a favour by explaining why I miss events… but now... now I can see that after I admitted to that problem, I became that problem. I became the person with anxiety issues. I became ten times worse. I let it get into my head that I was unable to do certain things because I had a weird mental disorder. I allowed the negative thoughts to enter my mind because “that’s what happens” when you have these issues.
From that moment of realization, I decided that I wanted to be the person I want to be. Not the person I’ve always thought I am. I can change who I am if I believe I am something different. So can you.
Dustin has a friend who consistently posts the most annoying, negative, “poor me” updates on Facebook. This person is always whining and complaining that nothing goes right in her life. Her job sucks, her relationships suck, her health sucks. Guess what? Nothing will ever go right in her life if she keeps perceiving things the way she does. It’s a continuous cycle because she hasn’t realized that she IS who she believes she is and the way she sees things is her own way of seeing those things. Other people might look at her situations as no big deal, but her? Oh no, she thinks they are the worst things ever… and because of this, she will always think that everything sucks. Perception.
Did you know that our subconscious actually picks up on other people’s mental states? If you are around a negative person, the chance is incredibly high that they will somehow end up making you feel those negative vibes too. Have you ever noticed how when you’re around a genuinely happy person, you tend to be in a great mood around them too? When you are in an equal state with other people (mentally), your subconscious picks up on it which results in them treating you as an equal too. It’s those people or situations that cause negativity that are no good for you. This is what I’ve decided to eliminate from my own life.
I decided that when faced with negative people I will try my best to look on the bright side, or if that’s not possible, simply walk away. I decided to ignore or hide all of those negative/bitchy/sad/emo status updates from my friends on Facebook unless I am somehow able to help the situation. I decided not to get involved with opinion sharing and debates about politics or issues happening in the world unless they are for the good. I decided to stop reading/watching the news and media headlines unless it is about something positive. I do not need the media to force negative energy down my throat, because that is exactly why they exist. They thrive and profit off of fear.
Some of you may be thinking “but how can you just ignore everything? Wouldn’t that just make you ignorant to world issues?” Yes….. So? How important is it really if you know all of the details about a tragedy that happened to a random person on the other side of the world? I’ve had to think about this paragraph because I don’t want to sound like a dick… but if there is nothing I can personally do to better a situation, help someone, or make somebody feel better somehow, there is no use having a heavy heart about it. There really isn’t. There is no point in simply allowing negative thoughts to exist inside of you. Let them go. Focus on the positive. If you can help in some way, that is a huge reinforcement of positivity and an example of turning a negative into a positive. More than anything, there is nothing more important than your own mental health and well-being. I’m finally seeing the person I believe I can be, and I believe that a world (MY world) without negativity is one that I can thrive in and become a better me. It’s what I need right now.
Ignorance is bliss. I finally understand what that means.
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