Love Your Life: Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

We are human, we all do it. Even if we don’t mean to, we compare ourselves or our lives to others. We sometimes wonder why we can’t look the way so-and-so does, or why we can’t have a life or a job that someone else has. Why we can’t do something that someone else can easily.  We try to make our egos feel better by comparing ourselves to people in other ways, too, by thinking things like “I’m so glad I’m not in her situation”, as if we have done something better with ours.

It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the lives of other people when our world revolves around internet based lifestyles. With pretty photos tossed in our faces daily, to stories of great adventures that we only wish we could do. We see a split second of someone’s life and think that they have it all together. We spend time trying to be more like something or someone else because we think it will make us happy. It won’t.

Comparison is an evil beast. It makes us feel like we are not always good enough and that there is something better to accomplish because somebody else has done it. So we strive to be like other people that we admire and in the process lose little bits of ourselves. The more we compare, the more we diminish the good in ourselves and stop seeing how truly great we already are…. just as we are.

I don’t want to confuse comparison with inspiration. I think it’s pretty normal to be inspired by things we see and people we meet, but when that inspiration turns into comparison — putting ourselves down and beating ourselves up because we are not like this ideal we have in our minds — it becomes more than being inspired.

Have you ever heard that infamous quote, “You have as many hours in a day as Beyonce”? It’s probably one of my least favourite quotes of all time. It’s comparison at its worst. Why are we comparing ourselves to Beyonce — someone who is just as human as you or I?  We all have the same amount of hours in our days, and being famous with help from teams of people shouldn’t be what we compare ourselves to. That’s not inspiration to me, it’s comparison. That quote compares our lives to that of Beyonce and makes us feel as if we should be doing more in our days, because, if she can do it, we should be able to do it too! It’s saying that we don’t strive or struggle as much as Beyonce, because look at where she is, and look at where we are!  Strip away the image she wants us to have of her and Beyonce is no better a person than you or I.

I want you to know that you are good enough and what you do matters just as much as what your favourite celebrity does.  There are always going to be people in the world who have more or less than you, who are better or worse than you at something, and who have things you wish you had or are glad you don’t.  There is no need to compare yourself or your life to anyone, because each and every life is unique. Our struggles and our feats are our own, and those are the things we should remember and be proud of.  The only person you should be comparing yourself to is who you were yesterday.

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By Dana Fox

Founder of the Wonder Forest blog and brand and bestselling author of the Watercolor With Me book series.

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