Many of us feel at a loss in this dualistic culture and world — can we have both love and freedom, both commitment and wildness? Can we feel that we are roaming free while still nestled safely in the bosom of long-lasting love? Many of us have learned to equate lengthy partnerships, and the lifelong commitment of parenthood, with heavy responsibility while our yearning for wild freedom is cast aside.
Most days, we might feel like we are sinking — sinking in the demands and requests of others. We might feel like we scream and yell at the growing voices in the back of our minds, reminding us of the freedom we once had. We might keep those voices in a closet under the stairs where they are free to daydream of magic. We might think that those voices of freedom will ruin our lives — our lives of stability and comfort — our families and our routines that keep us sane.
You Don’t Have to Choose
Luckily, we don’t have to choose. We don’t have to give up freedom or commitment. We can have both. We can let our hunger and our appetite incorporate both tastes. We can let go of the beliefs that in order to live lives of commitment and structure, we have to feel stuck, and we can let go of the belief that if we are to be free and most likely single, we will miss out on the benefits of partnership.
Instead of giving over our power to our relationship status (single, married, divorced, it’s complicated, polyamorous, widowed, Tinder-obsessed, etc), we can cultivate feelings of freedom or commitment no matter what our dance with another person currently looks like. The choice lies within ourselves.
It’s much easier, however, to get locked into the belief that our wildness is permanently gone. Our culture very much lends itself to this way of believing and being. Responsibility, stress, work, domestic chores, monotony, tasks, lists, alarm clocks, grocery shopping — it’s no doubt that there are many real and logistical parts of life. These realities can make wildness and freedom seem far out of reach and far out of our conscious mind. But eventually, without our wildness, without the passion of living, we will become resentful and frustrated humans.
We don’t have to change our outer circumstances in order to feel wild. We don’t have to move or change spouses, we don’t have to exchange our children, we don’t have to get a tattoo or buy a one-way ticket to Ibiza. We can feel free right now, in this moment and in every moment.
Three Ways You Can Connect to Your Wildness on a Daily Basis:
**Do these things each morning for at least 30 days**
- Spend 5-10 minutes visualizing your ideal life — dream as big as you can — as wild as you want. Don’t hold back. Let it all out. Get your fantasy on. Make sure to hone in on the feeling of your visions. How do you feel in your vision? The feeling will help to guide you so you can create these visions in reality (or at least the feeling of your vision in reality).
- Write down the fears that come up when you think about actually doing these things — flesh the fears all the way out. Write them down. When we write them down, our fears don’t have as much power over us. Fear hates to be acknowledged. When we stop resisting fear, we stop warring with it and it doesn’t feel as strong.
- Choose one feeling to focus on for the day. Let’s say, in your morning vision, the feeling of playfulness came up for you over and over again. Focus on that feeling throughout your day. You will start to notice it more. It will start to live and breathe in your awareness more. You will start to cultivate more playfulness just by turning your attention to the existence of it.
If you want more of this kind of inspiration, join me for my Free 3-Day Facebook Live Series: Untaming Domesticity — June 16th, 17th and 18th. Sign-up here.