Danielle is a life coach/relationship expert dedicated to answering your hard-hitting questions. If you'd like to submit a question of your own, you can do so at the bottom of this post. We will both be reading them and picking one or two to answer every month, and it all remains anonymous. You can see what else she talks about over on her blog.
Q: "Hi Danielle...
My husband is from New Zealand and I am from Colombia. We were living in Colombia until I finished my degree, and then moved to NZ where we had always dreamed of settling down. But I really struggled to find a job there, as I was a foreigner, recently graduated and with not a lot of experience. It was very tough and I felt useless, but after six months a very good job opportunity turned up for me back in Colombia. After much thought, we decided to come back. That was exactly 1 year ago, and while we are financially stable now thanks to both our jobs here, we have really struggled to adapt in this city. We don't like the weather, the people, the ambience... and we really really miss NZ. We are thinking of leaving our jobs and go there, trying our luck now that I have a bit more experience, but I am terrified of leaving my security here and having to go through the whole process of being unemployed and looking for jobs again.
What do you think I should do: put my job before my happiness for a while longer, or take the plunge, go back to New Zealand and try to find a job there for the second time?"
A: Hey there NZ lover!
Of course your overall happiness comes before your job. You can’t live your life for only your career. It’s a small, limiting perspective and we love space for free thinking and big dreaming.
That being said money is sort of like oxygen. When you need it, you need it! And life costs money. Period.
So what to do? Your heart and soul lives in NZ and your wallet is fat and happy in Columbia. The bridge must be built and I believe you must follow it back to NZ…..but not without a grown up, adult-like plan!
If you both genuinely feel like you have tried your darn-est to acclimate and dive into Columbian culture and it’s just not floating your boat then it is most likely the ideal time to develop an exit strategy.
We’re not just going to pack our stuff, buy a plane ticket and plop ourselves back down in the middle of NZ without a smart and savvy course of action. I would start by consulting your finances. Do you have 3-6 months of savings should either of you not land a job immediately? Or in the chances you land one but discover you dislike it intensely.
If not, discuss together how long it would take, aside from your regular monthly bills, to save up at least 3 months of savings. Perhaps, for example it takes 6 months to save up 3 months of savings. If this is the case you are most likely looking at a move back to NZ in 6 months time. Longer than perhaps you would prefer but in the grand scheme of life not that long at all. Time flys!
This plan can of course can be sped up if you both have jobs waiting for you when you land. This is step two. Collect and revise your resumes. If this is not a forte, consult a resume writer and have them gussy it up for you so it’s impressive and eye catching.
Step 3 is to jump online and begin looking at the job market in NZ. Which companies are you interested in working for? Are they hiring? Can you conduct interviews via Skype and phone? Contact HR and let them know you are extremely interested and would love to be put on a short list for when and if any openings come up.
Now, let’s say you have 3 months of savings and the both of you are in the midst of conducting long distance interviews and things on the job front are looking promising--well then it’s time to begin looking at homes or apartments to rent. You would most likely have a more realistic time frame for the move and can enjoy the hunt for your new home.
You absolutely have permission to follow your hearts and don’t need to stay anywhere that is not lighting your fire and inspiring big, bold generous and kind thinking. That being said...you want to plan for the move in a smart, conscientious way because that is ultimate kindness.
What advice would you give to "NZ Lover"?
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When I saw this boho feather headwrap over at Urban Outfitters, I knew I could create something similar! I'm a big fan of festival inspired accessories (especially ones with feathers) and this would be perfect for any summer event! If you want to make one too, here is what you will need:
I bought the suede cord and crimps at this Etsy shop, and had the other supplies from previous projects. (I got the feathers here).
Start by cutting your cord into three pieces of equal length. You can measure the length around your head, leaving a bunch of tail end, and then double it for each piece since we will be braiding it.
Then grab a bead and thread it onto one end of your cords, leaving a few inches free. Your bead holes should be large enough to fit the cord through, but not too large that the bead will fall off. My beads were a bit smaller so it took a bit of time to get all of the cords through! Where this bead starts is where you will start braiding.
Braid the cord all the way down until you get a few inches from the end. Add another bead to the end to secure the braid.
Thread two beads onto the fringe, then add a crimp, a jump ring, then another crimp. The crimps are easy to use. You just pop your cord into it and use some pliers to press the ends down on top of it.
On the other open crimp, insert your feather and crimp down once again. Slide your beads down to the end.
Do this for each cord. Try making them different lengths so they all hang nicely!
To wear it, just tie it in a knot around your head and you're good to go! Wouldn't this look great with a dip dyed ombre tank?
I feel like it's been forever since I just sat down and give you guys a life type post. Probably because the winter months had me seriously depressed and living a rather uneventful life. Yesterday, finally, I was actually able to walk around outside without a jacket and it felt fabulous. I think this is the end of about seven months of winter so I am definitely feeling happy.
Dustin and I have been thinking about our long term goals, and one thing we would love to be able to do is purchase a vacation home or a second property to use as an income property. We are going to start planning to reach this goal, because I think it would be amazing. The thought of skipping winter and living in a vacation home whenever we feel like it is like a dream. Obviously I'm not talking about anytime soon, but I've always wanted to invest in additional property so I'm excited to start looking into this world to figure out what we will need to do to eventually accomplish this... and of course research where we can get cheap homes in other parts of the world. Where would you live if you could... anywhere in the world??